I simply cannot believe we get married in one month, a literal 31 days from today and the two and a half year wait will be over. Am I ready....more yes than no. But am I excited.....all of the yes! When we booked our wedding (a week after we got engaged) it was so far away. One of our friends got us a wedding countdown and the numbers didn't go high enough! I remember being so excited for midnight on new years 2022 so we could say "We get married next year!" Bless the me of the past.
I have, on a whole, really enjoyed the planning. I love stuff to do with weddings (obviously) so having our own to plan was lovely, but there has absolutely been some lessons along the way I feel I must pass on for Brides and Grooms of the future. Firstly, save the dates.......
I remember designing these on Canva and being so excited at having something tangible to do with our wedding. I put one on the fridge when they got delivered and the same day my parents came for dinner so I happily handed one to them which they were very pleased with, and then left it on the table when they went home. When I called her she said "Oh I thought it was just for us to look at!" Undeterred I started to pass them out at work, to a couple of friends when I saw them but then kinda got bored. I wasn't prepared to post any because stamps are not cheap then the pile seemed to get misplaced. They reappeared a few months later and I had nothing but disappointment for them. So unless you're really on it, or can splurge on stamps, a physical Save The Date is not on my list of recommendations. My only suggestion would be if you could have them made around December and then pop them in Christmas cards? However, I learnt a lesson from this, and so when it came to actual invites, I was wise to my own faults so didn't take much persuading when my best friend suggested a wedding website. I was skeptical at first because I worried about alienating people who weren't online much, so basically my Nan. However, it turns out my Nan was one of the handful who actually received a Save The Date from me, plus she was a definite yes for attending. So a wedding website it was.......
Firstly I really enjoyed setting this up, it was so easy to use and it was free! I particularly loved the Q&A section and being able to manage the guest list was a dream, I mean adore a spreadsheet, but having one readily created and that updated (even when people opened the invite) was beautiful! I only had one issue with an email that I accidentally sent to the wrong address, which I then followed up apologising thinking we may then develop a friendship and they would come to my wedding anyway and I could make a TikTok about it that would go viral (like that guy and his not-grandmother at Thanksgiving) and could pay for the wedding with the views.....however they never replied. So yes, a wedding website is a complete God send. And as I already mentioned FREE!! We used Joy and it really was a joy.
Next up, I have learnt that even though I'm organised with what I need to do, I didn't do a very good job of factoring in other people. Working in the wedding business myself I know that wedding season is crazy busy so getting married during that makes it difficult to link up with your suppliers. I had these lovely dreams of booking in my hair trial for a day I was going out and then my make up trial for an afternoon before I went out out, but did't think about this in enough time, at all! Luckily my hair is been done by my regular hairdresser so I could get in after work one day (and they removed the grips and re-straightened for me when it was done) and my make up artist is a diamond who is seeing me tonight, also after work, and my maid of honour is able to come too so we will get dinner after. But even though it all worked out, I do wish I would have planned it better, or like at all basically.
Another part of the planning that caused a stress, and this is right back at the start, is the room allocation from the venue that you MUST fill. When we booked the wedding, full disclosure we were hanging. We had our engagement party the day before and the venue we wanted were having an open day, so it made sense to book in for a show around, realistically knowing we would book. We were made aware of the condition of filling ten rooms, and at the time were like "Oh yea, that won't be an issue" but then fast forward two years and we had only got 5 booked (the bridal suite doesn't count by the way!) so I did go into quite a panic. Weddings are expensive (understatement of the century) and when your friends are magical and amazing and plan you the best hen and stag do's, you really can't expect them to book a hotel room as well. Especially as one of the reasons you chose that hotel was for the location been close to everyone! Fortunately we work 20 miles from home and our work friends are all happy to stay rather than pay for taxis, so it has all worked out, but that was a stress we could have done without as if we hadn't filled the rooms with guests, we would have been paying for them regardless. Meaning we would potentially be spending our wedding night apart as there is no way I would have let hotel rooms sit completely empty and I would have slept in one myself!
My last words of wisdom that I have to offer are, to trust your own vibe! I knew what I liked but couldn't find a way of putting it into words in a way that could that translate into a vision of how I wanted everything to look and feel. I met with one of my couples back in December 2023 and the bride unknowingly gave me all the clarity I needed, as she knew the elements of a wedding that she didn't want in hers. I met with my girls the next month and made a list of everything I didn't like, and that gave me all the power to put into process what I did. I won't list these things here, but from then on I was so comfortable in my vibe. This can be from little parts of how the decor looks, to the traditional aspects of the day, for example (and I will give just one) we aren't doing a cake cutting. It just doesn't feel like something we want to make a thing. The cake will be on display, my cousin is making it and it will be spectacular. But after a while it will be taken away and sliced for guests. We are also having takeaway cake boxes with our photo sharing QR code on the box, so when people wake up the next morning and have a hungover piece of cake for breakfast, they can also upload and view all the photos taken by other guests the day before.
So with one month to go, a final dress and suit fitting, make up trial, a few bits left to order and a whole lot of printing left to do, I feel in a good place. My fiance can't wait for the band and when asked the other day if there was anything left to do quite happily said "No, it's all done" so that's nice for him.
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